More suggestions for supporting someone with depression…

5) Thinking like an engineer:

My father is Mr fix-it. My niece thinks that my Dad can fix anything (and most of the time he can – although it is important to realize that often a large amount of swearing is required to really fix things properly). When I got sick and my Dad couldn’t fix my depression, he looked for things he could fix. He built me a shower (we were living in a house that only had a bath). Now I’m not sure his motives were entirely pure as the bath was causing the whole personal care things to be a bit too much of an effort so I do wonder whether he built me a shower to help reduce my smell however, he built me a shower. I’m not suggesting every Dad should build their daughter a shower if she’s diagnosed with depression but Dad’s willingness to do something physical to show he was concerned about my mental health was really helpful.

6) An unexpected gift at an unexpected time:

For anyone who knows about love languages & knows me, they’d know my love language is gifts. So it was lovely when people showed that they cared by getting me stuff. It didn’t have to be expensive stuff (a flower picked from the garden speaks as loudly as a $100 bouquet – not that you’re not welcome to get me a $100 bouquet). Some of my favourites were a box of Krispy Kreme donuts, a pair of slippers (I had been wearing Richard’s which were about 10 sizes too big), a good book, some penny whistle sheet music (I can’t even play the penny whistle), some cut up pineapple, chewy caramel Tim Tams, a Tigger (Tigger will also be discussed in some future blog I’m sure), a vegetarian McDonald’s meal, a picture of Guy Sebastian from Australian Idol (yes I know I’m sad- I don’t have it up on my wall or anything though), a fish and fish tank, a bookmark with a cool quote on it and some tracky-daks (I think these are called sweat pants in some countries). See it doesn’t always have to be chocolate (although I used to be very fond of chocolate)

7) A trans-galactic and interspecies visitor:

Probably my two favourite visits (if I had to pick favourites) were the ones that had to make an extra special effort to come. One was a friend from school who had to walk about 1km to the train station, catch 2 trains, and then walk another 1km to the hospital - and that was just one way. The fact that he made such an effort to see me meant a lot to me. My other favourite visit was from my friend’s puppy. He came and visited me in the grounds of the hospital. He was very friendly. He did not bring me chocolates but he did lick my hand so I forgave him – it’s not his fault they wouldn’t serve him at Darrell Lea.

I hope this is of some help to people who aren’t sure how to show someone who has depression that they care. And remember even sending a card saying you care is a great way to encourage someone who has depression - and don’t forget the carer (spouse, parent etc). A note or a meal for them is of great help also.

Love,

Alison.